Soul Search, Part 1

I have been searching for the proper terminology to describe my current religious standpoint. A friend recently sent me the link to this article which has helped me come to the proper term: Agnostic. This article also talks about theism and atheism which when I started this post I labeled myself as Atheist. But the more I think about it I can't really say wether I am either Atheist or a Theist. Part of me is sceaming that there are so many different religions and they were all made up by humans because we will believe anything to make us feel better about the mysteries of life, but then the other part of me is thinking that there are so many people who have these beliefs because there is some form of greater spiritual power tying us all together.
I used to be a gnostic theist. Someone who believed every word my parents, pastors, and christian school teachers had spoken to me about God and the Bible. I was born into it, and easily influenced. I had no reason to doubt it because it was all that I knew. But then I grew up... I went from a Christian middle school to a Catholic Highschool. My best friend at the time and his parents were Catholic and they started saying and doing things that contradicted what I believed. My religion class taught me things about other cultures and their religions. How and when most religions were formed and how different they were from one another. Suddenly the box that I had shut myself in felt so small and I felt like my soul needed to explore. With every inch I peaked my head out of the box I began to ask questions and doubt everything I was fed throughout my childhood. And I also started to be disgusted at how easily a human life can be influenced by power and fear.
I stoped and thought "Why do I believe what I believe?" It was because I was afraid that if Christianity is true and I do not accept it then I would go to hell, and I want a rightous reward by going to heaven when I die. It was because everyone I knew and loved believed this way and everyone else told me that it was the only truth. But fear of hell and hoping for a glorious afterlife were no longer good enough to base my entire belief system on. Niether was being a member of a mob that sustains itself with sheer numbers and a mentality of "well everyone else is doing it." No, it has to be more for me then all of that. My indiviual soul must find the answers for myself to be satisfied. If I am going to believe anything with all of my heart and soul then I would need to be cleared of all of my personal doubts.
So this certainly puts me in the category of agnostic. I don't think the answers I am searching for are even obtainable so I doubt I will ever believe 100% (which would make me gnostic). I could still be an agnostic thiest by still having doubts and questions but believing in something anyway. I am leaning more towards thiesm because I believe a part of me, my soul, is searching for the right place where I will be at peace. But at the moment I do not truly believe in any specific organized religion. If I could only go back in time and experience what life was like when each religion was being written. Was their truly a divine precense or was it all the work of some creative genious? They all can't be true can they? Why are there so many!?

Its close to time to log off... I will have to continue this later because this is such an important topic to me and I need to document more of my personal feelings on the issue. I will talk more about my specific questions and doubts. Also I guess I should fill in the gap between catholic highschool and now including the drama from my previous relationship.