Grandma

I am fortunate enough to have both of my parents mothers still alive today, although it is sad that I hardly even know either of them. They may even think that I don't care about them or love them, but that is not true. They are my family and the few memories I have of them were still good ones. Mostly visits were limited to holidays even though my mom's mom lived only 10 minutes from where I grew up. She still lives there, in the same house, in my home town. But now my imediate family lives here in Alabama, around 2000 miles away from any other family members. Several holidays have passed where all we could do was send cards and gifts while me, my parents, and my brother celebrate alone.
I have learned that family is a fairly loose word in my world. We are more like individuals who happen to share the same dna and lived in the same house. It's just the way I was raised. My parents were work-a-holics, my brother was abusive (in a brother-like way) and I was a loner. I was always fending for myself and blocking other people out when I really just wanted them to help me. That has mostly all passed as I matured and learned the ways of life on my own, but I still have problems communicating with my family outside of Alabama. My dads mom is content with not knowing me, and she is in a mental and phyiscal state where conversations are a lost cause. But my moms mom only mental sickness is depression because she does not know her grandchildren. It hurts me to hear that she is suffering because our lack of contact, and that is why I want to give her what noone else in my family has..... a link to my blog.
Maybe then she will know who I am, and what I am up too. A window into a very private side of me that most people never get to see.... I just need to clean it up a bit :P