pointless blog

I have no life to blog about, heh. I just procrastinate and waist time too much.... I guess I should do something about that..........


ya, next week sounds good.

lapse of judgment.

I was almost desperate enough to do one of the lamest things possible....... I just about sent in a video interview to friggin MTV about joining a reality show. I was watching the Real World (I have no good excuses for that) and had a lapse of judgment. I decided to go to mtv.com and see what they have going on in their casting calls. Well apparently they have a new show they are casting for and it is in LA. Now if it was anywhere but LA I wouldn't have given it a second thought... but that is the region I grew up in, and most of my family and friends live within an easy drive of there. So hey.. If I was accepted I would get a free vacation to my favorite place, get to visit friends and family, be on tv, and possibly win the big prizes! But then I realized I would be seen and judged by dozens of curious teens, and have to be somewhat interesting. Plus the show is like real world where you have to live with strangers (which I wouldn't mind) but you are competing and eliminating roommates doing whatever humiliating things they make you do. So fuck that. Although I am probably being so negative about this idea because I couldn't get my VCR to record the input from my video camera in order to make my application video.

Flashback

I think its really wierd that 90% of my dreams take place in California back when i was in gradeschool. Its like I never left because everyone I knew is grown up in my dreams. Sometimes I have dreams with *New* people in my life, but they almost aways take place in my home town. I lost contact with all of my old friends after I went to a different Highschool, and then lost all hope of reconnecting with them when I moved to Alabama. Recently I have had the urge to reconnect with them due to them always being in my dreams (not in a cheesy way, its just the truth). I can't help but wonder what everyone is doing right now. Lets see what I can remember about em. Please bear in mind that this is all when I was a wee runt (pre-puperty), and some of my earliest memories that i managed to retain. Also remember that this was a private christian school and I didn't know anything about reality.

First there is Justin Banano. He was one of my best friends from time to time (I remember times where we were enemies) I think I owe a lot of my stupid sense of humor to this guy because we were a pair of wierdos back then. He was a bit shorter and skinnier then me, and aparently cuter because he was often sought after by the ladies. We played soccer together, but he was much better then me. I remember being in choir (what a dork!) with Justin and we sang like a couple of those nuterd kids. But after puberty I remember he was into Motocross. I actually saw him race a couple times and got to hang around his pit. Ever since I have lost contact with him, I have stopped at any Motocross racing channels and looked for his name.

Next guy I remember was Brandon McDaniel. From what I can remember he was a Black/Native American kid who was really strong and fast. He was a really good friend but I don't think we had a whole lot in common. Except for one major thing.....Our choice in girls. Its funny to think back about one memory that played in my head many times. Me and Brandon were hanging out in the soccer fields when we saw a girl walking towards us that we both liked very much. Her name was Michelle Barnett, and she was a FOX! We both went up to her and told her that we liked her(you know how kids are), and she said that she liked both of us. So then she had to make a decision.....and of course she chose Brandon over me. The funny part was that I also liked her friend, Christain Harris who was there at the time, and I said something silly along the lines of "Well, I guess if I can't go out with you then maybe I can go out with someone else" hinting to Christain. After an aquard while I eventually ask if she liked me and she said ya, and the boom... we are a couple in kiddy world. Even though at this time i didnt really know what that meant other then we were suppost to spend a lot of time together and stuff. The next year or so we had a great time as 2 couples, always hanging out under the big oak tree in front of the play ground. Lounging on the tires and cracking jokes. I must say that Christain was my first love, even though we didn't do anything intimate, she still filled my life with joy. She laughed at everything and had the most beutiful smile. The more I made her laugh and smile, the happier I was. I think that she has been the basis of judgement for every potential girlfriend that I have seen since then. Someone who likes my sense of humor, and has a great smile = winning combination.
One year during summer break, there was no way I could see Christain since i didn't drive and my parents were always busy, so we just talked on the phone a few times and waited until the next school year. She had told me that she was going to be in Mrs Hayes class, so I begged my mom to transfer me into her class that year so we could see eachother all day. But when I got to school I found out she actually signed up for a different teacher. I felt rejected and ignored her for the longest time and blew up in her face one day. Obviously we were over, and my life sucked yet again. Years later she was one of the most popular and pritiest girls in the school, and I felt like such a loser. We made up after a while through our friendships with Michelle, but around 8th grade she moved to Arizona and I never heard from her again. Then after middle school was over, everyone went their separate ways and I haven't heard from anyone since.
There were a couple of other best friends out there, but I don't have the time to mention everyone right now.

So to wrap this up, I just want to say that I hope to find them all one day and see what they are like, and if they remember me. One dream i have often.... like last night even.... is that I will find Christain (my dream girl) and she will bring me joy. Oh shit, its poem time again!

I need to make her laugh,
and I need to see her smile.
That is what makes me happy,
and that is wat brings me joy.
There is no other supliment;
and there is no other cure.

Ok so its not a poem... but it is how I honestly feel.

You are worth exactly $1,738,340.00

Well thats nice to know. Noone better kidnap me and demand 2 million because they will be out of luck!

I got this useless information from http://www.humanforsale.com/ and I suggest you find out how much you are worth as well and post a comment about it. Also tell me your adress and emergency contact information so that i know where to find you, who to call, and how much to demand >:]